DAY SEVEN -- will this never end?

OK, so last night at about 11p I was treated to what feels like a large piece of tree bark slowly making it's way half way down my throat. Whatever it is, it is small enough that I can swallow around it but large enough that it has been gagging me all night and day. I can neither move it up and out nor down and out. Its just sitting there, not moving and making me miserable. I even got up at 3am armed with a flashlight and some tweezers absolutely intent on picking the offending whatever out so that I could sleep. After about a 20 minute investigation I determined that it must be part of the scabbing (gross I know but I have to say it - how else will you know?) and that it is too far down in my throat to really look at let alone have a prayer of reaching with tweezers. Accompanying this delightful new development is the most searing and stabbing ear pain that I have ever felt. Seriously, it is ridiculous how much it hurts. The pain seems to be centered around my right ear and side of my throat and I have discovered that I can keep it at bay enough to keep from going bat S&^t crazy by drinking liquid motrin exactly every 3 hours and 45 minutes. If I wait 4 hours it is too late and I start the whole process all over again. Honestly, it feels like what I imagine it would feel like if someone stuck a BBQ skewer through your ear. Make no mistake, I cannot make the pain go away - just knock it down enough to survive and go about some simple tasks. I had been hopeful that I would be able to go to work today but had to email my boss-- since it is now just too painful to talk at all --and tell him that I am having my ass handed to me by a tonsillectomy. Thankfully he was fairly understanding. I did manage to actually leave the house today for two items -- I went first to SONIC for a large cranberry iced tea which was heaven for about an hour before I ran out and had to go get another one.... the second was was during happy hour so it was 1/2 price. Then I lived out a shining example of how marketing does work for everyone even if it takes a while -- which I will cover in a separate post because I think its a good lesson. In short, I actually bought and consumed a mashed potato bowl from KFC. (again, gross but how else will you know?)
Tonight when Tim came home we decided to go up to one of our favorite restaurants in the neighborhood, Cristina's, because they have an avocado soup that i thought I could eat.
Words cannot express the despair one feels when realizing that something as welcoming and friendly as a homemade flour tortilla fresh off the press is simply just too dangerous and challenging to eat. Yep, I was so excited to FINALLY get some real food in my hungry stomach and I was thinking that warm, soft flour tortillas soaked in cheese sauce would be just the thing to build my flagging calorie count back up -- but I'll be darned if I could NOT eat the thing. No matter how much I chewed, it still felt like rocks wrapped in barbed wire going down. As a matter of fact, it hurt so much that I also couldn't eat any soup and it actually brought me to tears right out in public! The boys had no problem cleaning their plates right in front of me and thought nothing of telling me how great it all tasted. Show offs. I am still hungry by the way.

I'm getting ready for bed now and dreading what wonders may await me tonight. Seriously -- what else?? what else could possibly be coming?? I would like to leave you with this piece of newly formed advice: If you are over age 10 and someone wants to take your tonsils out -- make sure that you are within 24 hours of death as your only alternative before you consent. As far as I can tell, that is the only acceptable circumstance that should require you to have your tonsils out. My dad made a good point... they should just take everyone's tonsils out at about age 3. You don't need them, they just make trouble and if you wait too long to yank them, it leads to a lot of days of rambling posts on a blog.

A big THANK YOU to my friend Carrie who made an awesome meal for the boys and some jello for me. We all appreciated it!
Until tomorrow -- enjoy every pain free swallow! This is a really, really crap two weeks!

I just found this helpful little bon mot on the internetweb:

"As for recovery time, 2 weeks is about right but it is a crap 2 weeks. I mean, really really crap. But after that, you do get better fast. "

I could not have said it better.......

DAY SIX

You know, I feel a sort of victory even writing those words. There was a day not long ago when I did not believe that I would make it to day 6 -- but here I am! Let's see, how to describe day six? First, I woke up this morning after a somewhat more restful night to discover that my throat was swollen to roughly the size of my waist. and it felt like I was trying to swallow barbed wire and not making any progress and my ears feel like they are going to burst. I ate 2 popsicles right away and iced my throat down and by 10a I felt like I could attempt a chocolate shake because I am STARVING but unable to poke any groceries down my throat (as my Dad would say). I got about 1/2 way through the very puny shake and felt naseous and had to go lay down. I got out of bed again at noon for round 2 on the day - still swallowing the barbed wire but now making some progress. I have a new complication today - sinus drainage. Awesome. SO, in addition to trying to avoid the swallowing, I now have a"condition" that makes it necessary to swallow every minute and if I refuse, it chokes me and makes me cough which I'm sure you can imagine is NOT a good thing. I also cannot go to sleep because of the constant choking which is so cool. Blowing my nose is out of the question - you dont realize how your throat and your nose are connected until an even such as this takes place -- then it is painfully obvious! And don't even get me started on yawning! OW! I have no idea what I have done to upset the sinus gods in this way but I am definitely paying for it now. I'm still not taking any pain meds which is allowing me to fully appreciate the discomfort that I am currently in. Thank God for that. Also I was able to help Griffin make a "Family Snowman Project" for school tomorrow which really means the Mom does it and then the teachers pretend they don't know that. This is my 3rd year of "family projects" and I can tell you that I dont know ONE kid who actually does his own let alone even helps (I at least made Griffin stay in the same room with me)...apparently in NWISD the definition of "family" is "mom". If they really want to test the Moms to see what we can do, why dont they have us all make our favorite Martini? Or our favorite dinner on the day before grocery day when there is nothing that goes together in the pantry or fridge and the kids really want McDonalds? Now THERE'S a project.

On a similar note, our house is still decorated for Christmas. We just haven't had it in us to take it down. Tim with only one wing is pretty useless for the big stuff he usually handles and I can't stay upright long enough to accomplish anything. This may be the year that we leave the tree up all year and just decorate for the various holidays. I knew a lady who did that -- she was in her 50's, wore sacklike dresses and sensible shoes, had a peter pan haircut, was single, bitter and had a lot of cats......................holy crap, that tree is coming down tomorrow!!

Last thing: this is the longest I have ever gone without talking to anyone for any reason. It is also the longest I have ever stayed in my house without leaving even for groceries. Some of you may have enjoyed the silence but I dont like it and I'm eager to get back out there and stimulate the economy --even if it's just for some soft food!

Here's hoping Day SEVEN is my turning point!

Uvula talk - Part 2

Hi again

I got myself out of bed, had a few bites of soup and then felt good enough to try a shower. As long as I dont close my eyes, I'm OK - I have some residual dizziness from the pain meds. After my shower I worked up enough nerve to check the situation in my throat. First of all, it surprisingly feels worse than it looks - second, my uvula is still pretty big but not the gargantuan beast that it was yesterday and the day before. I've posted a picture for your amusement and also for sympathy... I should have warned you not to be eating while you are reading this... It probably only affects Amanda anyway. I'm not sure you can see what my uvula looks like from this pic but just imagine a very angry udder with only one teat hanging down. (that was purely for Amanda)

My main symptoms right now are that my throat feels like it is coated with wood chips (the big jagged kind) and it feels like I am swallowing rusty shredded razor blades and I am dizzy and seem to have lost some motor control, which is wierd. I'm assuming that the last two things will get better the more time I put between me and the pain meds.

I definitely think I am going to make it from here -- I can handle the sore throat better than the nausea.

Tim has taken the boys out to run some errands - they were all going crazy in the house so it is good that they are getting out. I feel terrible that the boys have had such a craptastic week off. And I dont think Tim has had any fun either, poor guy. He is so sick of having his arm hurt and being able to use only the left one. I wish I could speed it up for him.

That's it for now --- I'm going to attempt to make it upstairs to doctor some animals at the zoo on Wii. Yesterday I couldnt have even spelled "upstairs" so I'm making progress!

This still sucks and I still wouldn't recommend it to anyone!

DAY FIVE -- Ha! Take that Day Four!

Well what have we here? Day Four did NOT kill me - even though it did it's best. Most of my misery yesterday came from being naseous and feeling like someone was beating me when I went to sleep - that was all courtesy of the pain meds. So last night I backed off the pain meds a bit each time and so far today I haven't taken any! My throat hurts but I already feel so much less foggy and out of it that I'm going to wait as long as I can to take it again. I still feel kind of sluggish and loopy but not nearly how I felt yesterday. I've been able to form some coherant sentences today and the boys seem less scared of me so that is a step in the right direction. I may even be able to get out of the bedroom today! I can tell that I"m going to need pain meds at some point but hopefully much less than yesterday.

I'll be back with an update later today!

DAY FOUR

Day. Four. is. going. to.kill. me.


so much worse than anything before.
I've only been upright for 10 mins today.
I would cry but it will hurt.

I'm re-ranking this on the things I'd do again scale - it is now below everything I've ever had done, even if I had it all done on the same day and the only thing I would place after this is a forcible emergency self amputation in the wild with a rusty spoon.

why did I do this????

DAY THREE - Happy New Year!

Well, I was all set to begin telling you how much worse today is than yesterday but then Heather was kind enough to send me a link to a couple's blog who have been battling cystic fibrosis, lymphoma and a premature baby and double lung transplant -- and that kind of took what little wind I had out of the sails. Thanks Heather. While I do realize that my problems are very small compared to many other people's -- sometimes we all just need a good wallowing in whatever personal tragedy we are experiencing at the time. With that in mind, here's my update:

Today is worse than yesterday, way worse. For one thing, I didn't get any sleep last night because there is literally no way for me to lay that my gigantic uvula doesn't close off my throat and threaten to choke me to death. It is ridiculous. I can doze for 10 minutes at a time but then I wake myself either choking or emitting some of the most hideous snoring sounds you have ever heard. I cannot believe that a petite sweet young thing such as myself could possibly be capable of making the kind of sounds that have been coming out of my head at night. Trust me, I've investigated thoroughly and I'm always the only one in the room when the sounds are happening so I'm pretty sure it's me. Second, I was told yesterday to take Benadryl whenever I took my pain meds, which I did all night and I have decided that that is clearly not a good idea for me. I got out of bed at 830am today and have not touched the Benadryl since then and I STILL feel like I am walking and thinking through pudding. The combo of pain meds, nausea meds and Benadryl is just too much for me so I'll gladly be itchy for the duration since I cannot even form a coherant sentence when i take it all. I think I scared the boys this morning by making no sense whatsoever. The last thing that is making today worse is that my neck and head are killing me. It feels like the worst headache I've ever had and it starts in my shoulders and goes to the top of my head. My skin just hurts to touch it! The headache is much worse than the sore throat at this point.

SO, let's stand back and take stock: I haven't worn makeup for 2 days, nor have I gotten out of my PJ's. I cannot speak in full sentences, my face is broken out, I am snoring like a prehistoric creature, my breath smells like the creature died in my mouth, I have a headache and nausea and I am generally unpleasant all the way around --- who doesnt think Tim is the luckiest guy in the world????
He has been so patient and kind and is trying to help as much as he can -- I'd feel worse if I hadnt pre-paid him for this a few weeks ago!

Thank you to everyone who has offered to help and who has sent good wishes our way. We can use all you can send.
For those of you lucky enough to have plans tonight - have fun and BE SAFE!!!