Tuesday, June 30, 2015

it's time to resurrect this blog - I have a lot to say!

A lot has changed recently and I find that I have a lot to say but don't really want to keep repeating the same sad, depressing but still kind of funny stories about my life as I'm navigating a divorce.   I will probably get more into this but for now - I'm going to start out with this:

THINGS I GET YELLED AT FOR BY MY (NOT SOON TO BE FAST ENOUGH) EX:

*at the grocery store - he yelled at me for telling the checker I didn't need the gallons of milk in bags.   EVERYONE (but me) apparently knows that a gallon of milk MUST be in a bag for transport home because - and I will quote here because I could not make this shit up - "it will sweat ALL OVER THE SEAT" on the way home.   huh.   my entire life I've just been driving willy-nilly all over the land with sweaty milk in my car.  I have to say that I have no idea what kind of havoc this has been wreaking on my automobiles but it must be pretty severe to inspire that kind of dressing down in public.

* I turned on the TV in my room and then stepped into the shower.  I shower for 5 minutes or less.  when I got out the lights and TV had been turned off in the room.  When I had the gall to question why on Earth he had come into the room where I was showering and turned off the TV and the lights - he actually said because I was wasting "so much electricity" by running them when I wasn't even using them.  Now, I'm not a financial genius but I believe we are talking about a few cents - give or take.  This from the man who runs the hot tub for hours at a time to "clear out his sinuses" (charming) or leaves EVERY SINGLE ceiling fan on at all times, etc.   Lord knows I tried to hold it in but I was weak and was compelled to point out that he is a "blistering asshole".  He disagrees with that assessment by the way.   I turned the lights back on and he continued to turn them off, insisting that I did not need to use the light in the bedroom right then.   I don't even have a sarcastic comment for that.  It's just too nuts.

* we have a 3 lb Chihuahua.   She doesn't like to swim but nonetheless finds herself in a swimming situation from time to time.  While he was in the pool with the boys - I jokingly held said Chihuahua over the hot tub just to see her paddle her feet in the air.  It's funny because she is swimming but not in the water.. you have to see it.  Anyway - as I was dangling the 3 lb dog at least a foot over the water - He starts to yell at me NOT to put "THAT" dog in the pool.   the reason?   If I put her in the pool (and let me remind you that she is 3 lbs) she will "clog up all the filters with her hair"  Now again -- I'm not a filter expert or even a dog expert but I have eyes and a pretty good judgement of probability and space.  Even a simpleton like me can see that a tiny dog like that - wouldn't even clog his throat enough to kill him if I happened to shove her down it.  Which, by the way, I would never do because I LIKE that dog.  Even when presented with this analysis of the situation, he continued to yell at me like a madman for "ruining the pool" with the dog.   Mind you we only have 2 weeks left in this house.

Ok that's it for now but I'll update as further transgressions are made!  Yay me.

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