OK, so last night at about 11p I was treated to what feels like a large piece of tree bark slowly making it's way half way down my throat. Whatever it is, it is small enough that I can swallow around it but large enough that it has been gagging me all night and day. I can neither move it up and out nor down and out. Its just sitting there, not moving and making me miserable. I even got up at 3am armed with a flashlight and some tweezers absolutely intent on picking the offending whatever out so that I could sleep. After about a 20 minute investigation I determined that it must be part of the scabbing (gross I know but I have to say it - how else will you know?) and that it is too far down in my throat to really look at let alone have a prayer of reaching with tweezers. Accompanying this delightful new development is the most searing and stabbing ear pain that I have ever felt. Seriously, it is ridiculous how much it hurts. The pain seems to be centered around my right ear and side of my throat and I have discovered that I can keep it at bay enough to keep from going bat S&^t crazy by drinking liquid motrin exactly every 3 hours and 45 minutes. If I wait 4 hours it is too late and I start the whole process all over again. Honestly, it feels like what I imagine it would feel like if someone stuck a BBQ skewer through your ear. Make no mistake, I cannot make the pain go away - just knock it down enough to survive and go about some simple tasks. I had been hopeful that I would be able to go to work today but had to email my boss-- since it is now just too painful to talk at all --and tell him that I am having my ass handed to me by a tonsillectomy. Thankfully he was fairly understanding. I did manage to actually leave the house today for two items -- I went first to SONIC for a large cranberry iced tea which was heaven for about an hour before I ran out and had to go get another one.... the second was was during happy hour so it was 1/2 price. Then I lived out a shining example of how marketing does work for everyone even if it takes a while -- which I will cover in a separate post because I think its a good lesson. In short, I actually bought and consumed a mashed potato bowl from KFC. (again, gross but how else will you know?)Tonight when Tim came home we decided to go up to one of our favorite restaurants in the neighborhood, Cristina's, because they have an avocado soup that i thought I could eat.
Words cannot express the despair one feels when realizing that something as welcoming and friendly as a homemade flour tortilla fresh off the press is simply just too dangerous and challenging to eat. Yep, I was so excited to FINALLY get some real food in my hungry stomach and I was thinking that warm, soft flour tortillas soaked in cheese sauce would be just the thing to build my flagging calorie count back up -- but I'll be darned if I could NOT eat the thing. No matter how much I chewed, it still felt like rocks wrapped in barbed wire going down. As a matter of fact, it hurt so much that I also couldn't eat any soup and it actually brought me to tears right out in public! The boys had no problem cleaning their plates right in front of me and thought nothing of telling me how great it all tasted. Show offs. I am still hungry by the way.
I'm getting ready for bed now and dreading what wonders may await me tonight. Seriously -- what else?? what else could possibly be coming?? I would like to leave you with this piece of newly formed advice: If you are over age 10 and someone wants to take your tonsils out -- make sure that you are within 24 hours of death as your only alternative before you consent. As far as I can tell, that is the only acceptable circumstance that should require you to have your tonsils out. My dad made a good point... they should just take everyone's tonsils out at about age 3. You don't need them, they just make trouble and if you wait too long to yank them, it leads to a lot of days of rambling posts on a blog.
A big THANK YOU to my friend Carrie who made an awesome meal for the boys and some jello for me. We all appreciated it!
Until tomorrow -- enjoy every pain free swallow! This is a really, really crap two weeks!
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